Biggles: Yes, lord. The Broken Plank. Fang [terrified]: The...Comfy Chair? Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle. Ah! [Biggles pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one] Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord. [JARRING CHORD] Ximinez [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! Biggles: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that... Confess! [Biggles holds out two ordinary modern household cushions] Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end? I'll come in again. February 10, 2018 tutorials. .'. Biggles: I confess! Biggles! Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. An ancient italian proverb says. [Biggles produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack. Young Lady: Oh! Confess! 1. Well, we shall see. Ximinez: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! [The door flies open and Ximinez, Biggles and Fang enter.] How do you plead? Ximinez: Not you! Phew! [The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain [Palin] enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! ©1995-1998 [Fang and Biggles make a pathetic attempt to tie her on to the drying rack] Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! . (she hands over the photo and the young lady tears it up) This is Uncle Ted, back again at the front of the house, but you can see the side of the house. [To Cardinal Biggles] I can't say it - you'll have to say it. Unique DLs -- Total DLs-- Total views. Ximinez: You....Right! Cardinal Fang! Ximinez: Surprise... [The Inquisition exits] I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. Biggles: I know, I know! Biggles: What? [Cut to film: moving over Brengel drawing of tortures; epic film music.] [The cardinals burst in] Stop. Ha! Cardinal Biggles [Jones] has goggles pushed over his forehead. Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle. If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! THIS WAS THE SPANISH INQUISITION . Biggles: We'll soon change your mind about that! Put her in the Comfy Chair! Ximinez [with a cruel leer]: Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Ximinez: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! [Biggles carries out this rather pathetic torture] You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance. [JARRING CHORD] I didn't want to say anything. The concept of backup is quite confusing. Download: Manual; 0 of 0 File information. Then we'll make you understand! Confess! Ha! I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake. Ha! Cleveland: Well what on earth does that mean? [Biggles turns an imaginary handle on the side of the dish-rack] [The Inquisition exits] Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. Now, Cardinal -- the rack! Nobody expects the spanish inquisition. Dear Old Lady: This is Uncle Ted in front of the house. Biggles: Our chief weapons are...um...er... Um, I'll come in again...” ― Monty Python Read more quotes from Graham Chapman. Confess Cardinal Biggles [Jones] has goggles pushed over his forehead. Chapman: Trouble at mill. (she hands over the photo and the young lady tears it up) This is the back of the house, with Uncle Ted coming round the side to the front. Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. [Biggles stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders] ], Voice Over: 'IN THE EARLY YEARS OF THE SIXTEENTH CENTURY, TO COMBAT THE RISING TIDE OF RELIGIOUS UNORTHODOXY, THE POPE GAVE CARDINAL XIMINEZ OF SPAIN LEAVE TO MOVE WITHOUT LET OR HINDRANCE THROUGHOUT THE LAND, IN A REIGN OF VIOLENCE, TERROR AND TORTURE THAT MAKES A SMASHING FILM. Ha! ©1995-1998 She is made of harder stuff! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition; Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Ximinez: Ha! Ximinez: It makes it all seem so stupid. Virus scan. All rights reserved. [JARRING CHORD] Replacer; … Ximinez: I see. (she hands over the photo and the young lady tears it up) And this is Uncle Ted even nearer the side of the house, but you can still see the front. Last updated 24 October 2015 1:33AM. Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. The Spanish Inquisition is a three-part sketch that appears in "The Spanish Inquisition," the fifteenth episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus. (she hands over the photo and the young lady tears it up) And this is the Spanish Inquisition hiding behind the coal shed. Biggles: I... All rights reserved. Share this quote: Like Quote. Cardinal Fang [Gilliam] is just Cardinal Fang] Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS! We Deny Everything [The cardinals enter] [They roughly push her into the Comfy Chair] Ximinez: Ha! Created by clanky4 . Cleveland: Pardon? [JARRING CHORD] [The cardinals burst in] Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Cleveland: I don't understand what you're saying. Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! He hums heavily to cover his anger] [JARRING CHORD] Biggles! Ximinez: Confess! Cardinal, read the charges. Ximinez: Inquisition. Ximinez: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Poke her with the soft cushions! Ximinez: Ha! Biggles: Shall I...? ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. Uploaded by clanky4. Chapman: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treadle. [aside, to Biggles] Is that really all it is? Cleveland: Oh no - what kind of trouble? Version. Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um.... (she hands over the photo and the young lady tears it up) And this is Uncle Ted at the side of the house. 'My old man said follow the--' Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Confess, woman. Voice Over: 'IN THE EARLY YEARS OF THE SIXTEENTH CENTURY, TO COMBAT THE RISING TIDE OF RELIGIOUS UNORTHODOXY, THE POPE GAVE CARDINAL XIMINEZ OF SPAIN LEAVE TO MOVE WITHOUT LET OR HINDRANCE THROUGHOUT THE LAND, IN A REIGN OF VIOLENCE, TERROR … Ximinez: Right! [Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again] Cardinal, give the rack [oh dear] give the rack a turn. [JARRING CHORD] On to next scene, or back to previous scene [To Cleveland] Now, how do you plead? A rough translation could be something like this: the backup is the thing that had to be done before. [Cut to them torturing a dear old lady, Marjorie Wilde] Ximinez: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ooooh! Ximinez: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ximinez looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Original upload 24 October 2015 1:41AM. [Cut to film: moving over Brengel drawing of tortures; epic film music. Ximinez: Okay, stop. Do you confess? Right! Safe to use .

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