Recruitment strategies employed included peer recruitment, chain referrals, introductions via community organisations and training academies, and opportunistic invitations extended through everyday contacts with young people at work, on the streets, and in the surrounding villages. [2] The first Tu'i Tonga Fefine married a high-ranking Fijian, to form the 'Ha'a Falefisi' ("House of Fiji") line. At the end of the day it will be their choice, but there will definitely be no sheet ceremony on their wedding night unless it is something that they choose themselves. May summed up the problem of condoms for young people: Not only is sexual activity prohibited, talking about sex is generally off-limits too. The resultant sample consisted of: female (n=16), male (n=10) and. It is important to note however that the analysis, on which this paper is based, is grounded in the participants' own expressions of their experiences and understandings. [4] However, she remained the highest spiritual entity in Tonga only until she gave birth to a daughter. Many of the young people interviewed scorned what they considered to be unrealistic and anachronistic expectations of young people's behaviour, and most concurred that parents and church authorities 'just don't know what [young people] get up to' (Tony, age 18). All had refused. The results suggest that responsibilities to family, to community, and to tradition may be experienced as more pressing, or more immediate, priorities than that of individual health concerns. using this website - Accessibility statement, Anne Summers: ‘Rosie Batty can't do it all by herself’, Here's how to change your bad eating habits, Date puddings with maple syrup and pistachio ice cream. Appreciation of the significance of the repeated invocation of 'the Tongan way, and the consequent instatement of condom use as a more collectively borne risk to Tongan tradition, may benefit from further contextualisation. Appreciation of the significance of the repeated invocation of 'the Tongan way, and the consequent instatement of condom use as a more collectively borne risk to Tongan tradition, may benefit from further contextualisation. Did the culture ever consider that not everyone bleeds? Those who adopted condom use in their own lives could be distinguished from a 'mainstream' of other participants by non-normative characteristics other than their condom use. A young married woman who was separated from her husband said that even if she wanted to use a condom with her next partner, she would not pick one up from a clinic or buy one from a shop because she believed that would mark her as promiscuous and that people would then say 'ooh, maybe her husband left her because she went with other men' (Sisilia, age 21). While I will teach both my son and daughter the value of virginity and what it means both in a cultural and religious context, I will also give them understanding and education around sex and healthy relationships. Like Nelly, Rose also directly ascribes this situation to. You are a sexy girl!" 'The Tongan way' is the direct English translation of faka Tonga—a phrase with great power in the Kingdom. The condom-using women expressed views on sexual relationships, self reliance and individual responsibility that were more in keeping with Western codes of individuality than Tongan communalism. In studies of youth and sexual risk internationally, much research emphasis has been on young people as risk takers while the role of adults and other social authorities in creating and sustaining the vulnerabilities of youth has been subject to less scrutiny. Imagine a man marrying a woman, separating from her, and then re-marrying his first wife’s sister. All but one of the participants recognised that condoms offered protection from HIV and other STIs, and most also noted that condoms could keep young people safe from unwanted pregnancies. When men use condoms the decency or cleanliness of their partner is impugned. I got married in Australia at age 30 to a Samoan man. In particular, I wanted to honour my Mum because it's almost a disgrace on her if the process isn't completed. [1] This strategy of marrying the title-holder to non-Tongans helped to safeguard the Tu'i Tonga's position, as the Tu'i Tonga Fefine's children would otherwise have outranked him.[3]. Jasmine also explicitly associated condom use with love and care when she asserted that: The phrase, 'the Tongan way,' was repeatedly forwarded by the young people in this research in their attempt to explain behaviour and thinking that impacted on condom use. The recognition of the safety afforded by condoms in principle is overshadowed by the recognition of the risks associated with condoms in practice. Apparently marrying robots and holograms is a new reality. That was essentially the extent of my sex education at home – “it’s not done until marriage”. However the data also show that this 'safety equipment' is a double edged sword, as the reputation that can be preserved by condom use can also be imperilled by it. That condom use denotes illicit and wanton behaviour, and even a certain sexiness, functions as a specific disincentive to many young women. There is certainly no virginity ceremony where the wedding sheet is given to the family. As I journeyed through my university years witnessing the results of ‘try before you buy’, from abortion to major depression due to failed relationships and unfaithfulness, I found myself holding on even tighter to my Tongan cultural beliefs regarding the value of virginity and waiting until marriage. More specifically, while condoms are cast as being necessary for use in teenage sex and typical of prostitution, the interview data also evidence that condom use signifies uncommitted sexual relationships, extra-marital sex, dirty or diseased sex and foreignness. Sisilia, for example, explained that she would not buy or carry condoms herself because 'if my friends knew about it they would say "You! Nelly said that she would, Certainly interviewees repeatedly stated that being seen buying or accessing condoms or being found with condoms in their possession would inevitably, and rapidly, become a matter of public knowledge. This child outranked her mother and became the highest spiritual entity in Tonga, with the title of Tamaha ("Sacred Child"). Ruby refuses to be treated as if she was diseased. It's callous to expect people to work their entire lives, ... Do you really want to be the sort of parent who prioritises ... Celebs not giving a damn on the red carpet, Women who challenged their employers, and won, 21 striking displays of feminist art activism, Help Apposite to this, married men asserted that if they bought condoms people would consider it evidence of engagement in extra-marital sex. The participants' overwhelming belief in the need for condoms to be used by a generalised and abstract category of young people, alongside a personal eschewing of their use by most of those interviewed, can best be explained by considering the social risks attached to condom use. Contraception was identified as the only acceptable function for condom use within marriage and other committed relationships and, for most of the young Tongan women in the study, bearing children was envisaged as the central purpose of marriage. Numerous participants also pointed out that sex is not a subject that is considered decent to speak about openly in Tonga. Prominent among the regular condom users were those young men who were peer educators, especially those who did not have a strong connection with the family home, or who had set up their own home. Further, condoms themselves are markers of disrespect or social transgression, and of foreignness. However the duty of parents to preserve and instil moral and cultural values was simultaneously acknowledged and upheld. Within anthropology, literature, and the visual arts the portrayal of Polynesian and other Oceanic peoples has been highly sexualised. She told me that in the authentic cultural practice, an aunty is often waiting outside the married couples room for the sheet. A man in Japan married a hologram earlier this month. The title-holder was expected to remain a virgin unless or until she married a 'stranger' of high rank. Having ever had sex or having ever used a condom were not conditions of eligibility for inclusion as the research aimed to investigate perceptions and beliefs about condom use as well as first-hand experiences. English is a widely spoken second language in Tonga and no interested potential participants had to be excluded on the basis of language. Condoms are unequivocal markers of sexual activity or intent. The behaviour of young Tongans has profound implications for their families too. I know personally that I will never expect my daughter to go through this ceremony. The Tongan archipelago has been inhabited for perhaps 3000 years, since settlement in late Lapita times. They'd look down on me' (Sisilia, age 21). May referred to an inseparability of family and individual identity in her description of what happens when a young person's character or behaviour is being discussed: Poppy like many other participants invokes a connection here between prostitution and condom use.

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